Will Deceased Words
Ever Rise Again?

By Jim Bishop from “The Bishop’s Mantle,” Harrisonburg Daily News-Record

"Hey, hepcat, come scarf out my new wheels - it's got dual-quad carbs, an eight-banger engine, a Hurst shifter with four on the floor, posi-traction, a steering knob, Continental kit, white-wall tires, glass-packs, fender skirts and curb feelers."

Were I to offer a young adult this invitation, would he or she think I was speaking in a foreign tongue?

Sad to say, probably so.

Don Smith, a first cousin older than me - and I'm old - recently sent me a list of readily recognizable words and phrases from our growing up years that have for the most part mysteriously disappeared from our vocabulary.

As a child of the 50s, I drooled over many chrome monsters driven by older acquaintances that sported tailfins, Continental kits that extended the rear bumper and covered the spare tire (really cool, man!), fender skirts and hubcaps with spinners, and a shrunken head or skunk air freshener dangling from the fake white fuzzy muff-covered rear view mirror.

People used to call the accelerator the "foot feed" and reached for the "emergency brake," now the "parking brake." Gimme a break! And remember when the foot-controlled headlight "dimmer switch" was mounted on the floorboard?

Back then, if the car had a radio it only offered stations on the AM dial piped through one tinny speaker, and it took awhile for the station to come in because the tubes had to warm up.

Other terms on the list Don sent included "store-bought." Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days. But once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or bag of (penny) candy.

Nevertheless, my relatives of Pennsylvania Dutch heritage still talk about an item being "boughten."

The phrase, "coast-to-coast," once got our juices flowing. In today's inter-connected, instant information society, we take the term "worldwide" for granted.

"'Wall-to-wall' was once a magical term in our homes," Don noted. "In the 50s, people covered their hardwood floors with wall-to-wall carpeting.
Today, they replace their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors. Go figure."

When's the last time you heard the quaint phrase, "in a family way?" Hard to imagine that the word "pregnant" was once considered a little too graphic, too clinical for use in polite company. So we made references to stork visits or simply "expecting." (Of course, on TV, married couples slept in separate beds).

Apparently the uplifting word, "brassiere," is no longer in use; it's just "bra" now. "Dainty unmentionables" probably wouldn't be understood at all.

And "gay," variations of which are heard on a number of 50s tunes I play on my "Friday Night Jukebox" radio show, well, we won't even go there.

Most of these words hearken back to the '50s, but here's an early-60s word for you - "rat fink." Calling someone a "fink" was synonymous with being a tattletale, squealer or the forerunner to a geek. "Rat fink" was used for emphasis.

This reminded me of a list of nonsense words that another cousin, Bill Bishop, gave me when I was in high school. I quickly shared them with my classmates, i.e., blunket, zettlebump, oolop, twank, frumpf, geep and gorp.

One of them, "blorg" - no idea what that meant - somehow became my nickname, and to this day several high school classmates still call me by that moniker.

Here's a word I miss - "percolator." That was just a fun word to say.

There was even a novelty instrumental, "Percolator Twist," a take-off on the Maxwell House commercial, that charted in 1962. What replaced it - "Coffeemaker." How dull. Mr. Coffee, you're to blame.

How about those made-up marketing words that were meant to sound so modern and now sound so retro? Words like "DynaFlow" and  "ElectraLux." Sleep on Koolfoam air-conditioned pillows. Check out the 1963 Admiral TV, now with "SpectraVision!"

My Great Uncle Harvey Gehman's mammoth Sylvania black and white television featured "Halolight." The white glowing plastic frame that surrounded the picture tube was supposed to make TV viewing easier on the eyes. Actually, I thought it made the images more difficult to see.

The word list also asked whether a telethon was held at some point that wiped out lumbago. Nobody complains of that anymore. Maybe that's what castor oil cured, because mothers no longer threaten their kids with castor oil.

Or, do parents still remind their persnickety offspring that "starving people in China (or some Third World country) would love to have those steamed carrots or cauliflower on your plate"? If they did, the child is likely to reply, "Well, then, send it to them."

Folks used to have "supper." Now everybody says "dinner." Save a great word. Invite someone to "supper." If you can keep everyone at the table long enough, discuss the pros and cons of returning to telephone party lines, milk in glass containers delivered to your door, doctors making home house calls and 3-D movies.

Several other words and phrases I find on the endangered list - Please, thank you, excuse me, I was wrong, forgive me, way to go, I love you.

May these never go out of style.

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Jim (Blorg) Bishop is public information officer at Eastern Mennonite University, Harrisonburg, Va.